For our month of #Simone we asked for guest bloggers to come forward. Here Donna Howden, Chair of the Telefonica UK Women’s network, shares her experience of being a female volunteer working with rough sleepers:
How do you feel when you walk down the street and there’s someone begging? Do you cross the road, put your head down and quicken your step or simply look in the other direction? Most people will do one or all three of these.
Because you can’t relate to them? Because you haven’t got any money? Or because you’re scared?
Of course, it’s understandable. If you look at the dictionary definition of vulnerable it probably explains exactly how you feel…
‘exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally’
And by stopping and talking to a homeless person you’re increasing your risk of being attacked or hurt in some way, right?
How many news stories or press articles have you read about homeless people attacking members of the public? I can’t recall ever reading any, but I’ve read plenty about homeless people being attacked, beaten up, even urinated on.
As part of a great group of volunteers me and my 16 year old daughter spend one Saturday evening every month feeding the homeless and hungry of Leeds. Twelve Saturday evenings or 48 hours a year – it’s not so much to ask.
It’s our monthly reality check.
Of course the main reason people come to us each month is for food, but most of them are hungry for conversation, hungry to be seen and recognised. Simply knowing your name and you knowing theirs is a big deal for some of them – to feel like they have a friend. In fact sometimes they’ll tell you if you’re not paying them enough attention!
And whilst they’re grateful for what you give them, just because they need our help doesn’t mean they don’t have opinions and don’t want choice. Peter likes his tea with no sugar and just a tiny bit of milk and if you give him a sandwich, make sure it has no butter on it. His choice, just the way he likes it. And when I hand him his food I call him Peter or Sir.
And wherever I am on my travels with work or family, if I see someone on the streets I will always stop and ask them if they’re ok, whether I’m in London, Glasgow or Leeds.
Last year we were out in Leeds for a meal and I saw a guy with his dog begging on the pavement outside a newsagent. I stopped and asked him if he wanted something to eat and drink. After a brief chat I went into the shop and bought him some snacks, a drink and some food for the dog. It cost me five minutes of my time and the price of two drinks in the pub.
And yes, I’m a woman and most of the people I stop and talk to are men. And yes, I do take precautions. I don’t go down dark alleys looking for people and I do keep a short distance, just in case, but I also make a point of crouching down to eye level so I’m not looking down on them. And not once, in the last two years has anyone said anything to me other than “thank you”.
Let’s look at this from a different perspective . Remember that dictionary definition, well here’s what it means when it relates to a person
‘in need of special care, support, or protection because of age, disability, or risk of abuse or neglect’
Still sound like you or does it sound more like the person looking up at you from the street?
All homeless people are more vulnerable than you and I, but women have even higher levels of vulnerability often due to periods of sexual abuse, domestic violence and other traumatic life experiences.
Making up around 26% of the homeless population, women are more likely to have serious mental health issues with 20% becoming homeless to escape violence, mostly from a partner. That person in their life that they loved and trusted or stayed with just to have a place to call home.
And most of you reading this will have the one thing they don’t – a place to call home.
So the next time you see someone looking lost, hungry or invisible stop, say hello and ask if they’re ok. If it would make you feel more confident, find out about the services available in your local area so you can signpost them to somewhere for support. Or just offer them a warm drink and something to eat. Go on, try it sometime – they don’t bite.